For all the coverage that vampires making their way back into the mainstream have received of late, few seem to acknowledge the stylistic debt owed to Joel Schumacher and The Lost Boys, the crew responsible for defining the visual aesthetic of the MTV vampire: piercings, leather, hairspray- the undead looking more like the Billy Idol fans you don't want your son hanging out with than the bloodsucking monsters they are.

I stand firm in my belief that while vampires can be sexy, they cannot be sexual, and that Twilight and it's contemporaries have more in common with The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, a flaccid, Byron-in-Hollister dirge of a movie who's payoff is the only time you'll ever say "well, thank God Corey Feldman was in that."

As Halloween draws closer, can we stop being scared of whether or not people will accept us fucking a vampire and start being fucking scared of vampires again?

Props to Missouri's Gizmo for the Lost Boys OST love.

Lil' Wayne vs. Gerard McMann "Cry Little Lollipop" (DJ Gizmo Mash)