New Jamz: Throwupvomitupchuck is Metal.

I've been hearing so many legit DJs trying so fucking hard to produce club-metal bangers of late that they're all begun to blur together before the trend could even reach its apex. Thanks to Sebastian's "Killing in the Name Of" remix and Justice spinning "Master of Puppets" to close out their sets, I feel like every house DJ in the city is awkwardly bending over backwards to drop dinky acid remixes of Iron Maiden and shit, you know?

It's simply gonna kill these guys that a DJ from Peoria, Illinois with the most noncommercial name imaginable- Throwupvomitupchuck- has unleashed two flawless jams custom fitted for the kids in jean jackets with bad skin getting way, way more laid than you. First up, Flo' Rida and T-Pain's "Low" fights for its life in Thunderdome against Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some", "Unchained", "Jamie's Cryin'" and "Panama". Then, Kanye's "Stronger" rides shotgun with Pantera's "Cowboys From Hell".

Rest in peace, Gary Gygax. The dice rollers be rollin'.

Throwupvomitupchuck "Untitled" (Flo Rida Feat. T-Pain vs. Van Halen)

Throwupvomitupchuck "Untitled" (Kanye West Feat. Daft Punk vs. Pantera)