Blame it on your father

Oh man oh man oh man. Ahem. Oh man. Yesterday, Jermaine Jackson, former contestant on the UK edition of Celebrity Big Brother, revealed to BBC Radio that The Jackson Five are preparing a comeback tour- the first time they will have done so since 1984. According to the report, he and his four brothers, including Michael, may roll out as early as 2008, and proper dates are being discussed.

"We feel we have to do it one more time." Jackson laid out, "We owe that to the fans and to the public. There's been so much going on, getting over all the hurdles that we all were faced with during Michael's trial, but we are stronger than ever."

Damn right you owe me, Jermaine. Thank goodness the prettiest Jackson went on to promise that he, Jackie, Tito, Marlon and Michael are “in the studio at the moment”, leaving sixth brother and later Michael replacement Randy (not the American Idol guy, but co-writer of "Shake Your Body") comfortably in the throes of violent familial resentment. Good on you, guys. After an overseas Celebrity Big Brother stint, there's nowhere to go but up, and anybody that questions if the Indiana clan can still kick out the jams need only point naysayers to their last reunion attempt, 1984's intergalactic block party Victory.

No, 2300 Jackson Street doesn't count. The Jacksons may work without Michael, but no Marlon? NO MARLON? Shit, he was the soul of that whole group and you know it. This album will fucking rule. I mean, if nothing else, it's gotta sell better than Damita Jo, right?

The Jacksons "Shake Your Body"

Payroll "Blame It On the Streets of San Fransisco" (Jackson Five vs. Henry Mancini)

Previously on am.fm.pm: The Action Jackson Mashup Mixtape!